A response to troubled times
Prior to attending my first retreat with Sanjay Shah in 2014, by way of preparation we were asked to consider 20 things we were grateful for.
Close to the top of my list was, being a Jew, born in this time and in this country.
I recognise that antisemitism has been around pretty much for as long as there have been Jews – and so to be born in a country famous for its tolerance when there was very little overt antisemitism was not something which should be taken for granted.
Unfortunately, times have changed.
No longer would I feel safe walking around with any obvious signs of the religion into which I was born.
The fact that I have never really been a practicing Jew is irrelevant. It’s like being born into a club that you can’t ever leave.
So, the recent huge increase in antisemitic attacks in this country is a matter of grave concern.
For the first time, I am fearful of what the future may bring.
I do not see these incidents in isolation – they are a symptom of a world increasingly fractured, with extremism of all kinds on the rise.
There is clearly a great increase globally in isolation, fear, hatred, greed and suffering.
What I am also very conscious of however is the manner of my response and how different this is now compared to what it might have been all those years ago.
I have learned many things over the years since I completed that list of things I was grateful for.
One of the most important realisations for me is that we have no control – over anything at all whatsoever.
It is not difficult to appreciate we have no control over external events – in the words of Ramana, what will be will be, no matter how much you don’t want it to be.
I know of no one whose life is in any way what they imagined or desired.
This lack of control does not however stop with external events.
How you think, your views, prejudices, preferences, attitudes, indeed, your whole world view and experience of life are formulated by a mix of genetics and circumstance.
You did not get to choose your parents or their parenting skills.
You did not get to choose where or when you were born, the country where you were born or the culture you were born into.
You did not get to decide your early childhood experiences.
In other words, you had no control over anything that makes you you.
Every thought, every action, every decision is formulated because of things which happened over which you had no control.
So even your very own thinking or experiencing life, is not something you got to decide.
If we have no control over any of these things then how can we be to blame for our actions, prejudices, outlook or any other aspect of our being?
I am in no way seeking to say that we throw our hands up and say, “none of this is my fault so I can behave how I want.”
I am not saying that we simply accept everything that is happening as our fate and there is nothing that can be done.
What I am saying is that we can have a very different outlook, that we can have very different conversations and look for very different solutions if we take blame out of the situation.
I was privileged recently to see a film called “The Work”.
This was filmed in a high security prison in the USA with inmates many of whom were gang members and who had been imprisoned for crimes of extreme violence including murder.
The film revealed some of their stories – of the pain which they suffered and continue to suffer.
They were not to blame for being themselves and both they and society at large would be hugely better off if they had been met with understanding and an opportunity to heal rather than condemned and imprisoned to wallow in their pain.
So, whilst I may be afraid, I do not seek to blame or condemn those who have recently carried out antisemitic attacks.
My response is to continue to work on myself – to heal my own pain and to look for ways in which I can try and help others to heal theirs.
My response to this fractured and troubled world, is to double down on my efforts to be as kind, caring, understanding and compassionate as I can each and every day.
This, as much as anything, is the reason why Tangerine Sky exists – and as long as there is breath in my body, I will do all I can to help relieve suffering – both my own and for anyone else who I can help in any way.