Ten ways to suffer less Part 4

The Power of Forgiveness

If you are unable to forgive, you will continue to be trapped.Forgiveness sets you free.

And the most important person you need to forgive is YOU

I remember some years ago watching a documentary about two holocaust survivors who were called to give evidence in the trial of a man accused of being a guard at Auschwitz.

Both had witnessed and been the subject on unspeakable horrors which do not need repeating here.

The man was unable to forgive - he was as full of anger, bitterness and hatred at the time of the trial as he was when the camp was liberated in January 1945.

And who would blame him?

Who would dare to say that they would not have reacted in precisely the same way - I might suggest that would be most of us.

And yet his inability to forgive kept him trapped - physically he may have been free, but mentally he was stuck in the horror of what had been.

The woman by contrast had the capacity to forgive and had gone on to life a full and vibrant life.

She had truly defeated those who enslaved her by her refusal to let her love and compassion be destroyed.

She was free and at the end of the trial was able to hug the guard and assured him of her forgiveness.

This is the Power of Forgiveness.

Who Do You Really Need to Forgive?

To Heal means among other things to realise all of the things for which you consciously or unconsciously hold yourself to blame, to deeply and genuinely forgive yourself - to love yourself enough to set yourself free from the past.

In one of the many notebooks which I have started (and failed to fill before starting another), I came across a list of the things which I had realised I needed to forgive myself for - some run deeper than others - and some I had to repeat a number of times before finally being able to be at peace with them.

With no holds barred, here is that list as it appears in my notebook:

I forgive myself my irresponsibility with money and my impulsive purchases.

I forgive myself for falling off my bike when drunk and havfing to have 15 stitches in my knee.

I forgive myself my angry and judgemental thoughts.

I forgive myself for being needy.

I forgive myself for continuing to believe that I will be abandoned.

I forgive myself for my inability to mediatate with a quiet mind.

I forgive myself for mistreating my body with drugs.

I forgive myself for fucking up my marriage.

I forgive myself for my inability to forgive myself and for repeating the same age old stories.

I forgive myself for being me.

So my question to you is, what do you need to forgive yourself for?

And when we will you forgive yourself for being you?

Maybe now is the time and maybe it isn’t - freedom possible here and now in this moment.

All you have to do is choose.